Hello, friends. You’ve probably noticed that Lime Cucumber Gatorade is conspicuously absent from convenience store refrigerators in the Rio Grande Valley. This wonderful beverage tastes like the real thing and offers thirst-quenching refreshment like none of its like-branded...

1.)    Always think you’re too good to do certain jobs even though the economy is bad and you live on your mama’s couch. 2.)    Stay in school for as long as possible to avoid all manner of trying. 3.)    Tell everyone you’ve been looking for work but that no one is hiring;...

Everyone likes to get naked, right? Apparently not. Not even with hot body champ Casey Anthony. In the wake of the Casey Anthony trial media freakshow, America is angry. Get fucking angry America. The fact that Casey Anthony will soon get out of prison on July 17 with a trial that was shorter...

Dear She/He, So, I’ll get right to it. I love having sex. Who doesn’t, right? Anyway, I’ve been with my girlfriend for going on three years now, and we’re happy. We enjoy each other’s company, we make each other laugh, and, well, the sex is amazing. There’s...

Dear she/he, An ex of 6 years wants me back. Problem is I don’t even believe in love anymore. She’s really sweet and kind, albeit a bit boring. She knows how i feel but is persistent and has been loyal to me during our time apart. I’m not entirely abject to the idea, but...

Dear Sara and Mario, A woman’s come into my life. Since meeting her, the world is brighter. In my eyes reflect her incantatory beauty for which even the waters will wait. She is innocent and wonderful, auspicious even in the darkest caveats. She speaks to me with such fluidity in...

I’ve been seeing a girl a few nights a week for about a month now. We usually just meet for sex. I don’t want anything serious and she says she doesn’t either. But she’s started to sleep over; I don’t want her to. Am I a douche bag for wanting to ask her to leave...

  Welcome to She vs. He. Each week, Ouch My Ego‘s resident life coaches, Sara Montoya and Mario Leal, will square off against one another, offering male and female perspectives on the issues that OME’s readers care about most. This dynamic duo will address queries in a...

People ask me all of the time how I became such a ladykiller. Usually, I tell them to get a clue. But then I thought about starting my own PUA Empire and going around giving demonstrations and writing books about how to be good with the ladies, JLG (“Just Like George”). Alas, that sounded...