So you used to be a part of something and now you’re not. You’ve cried your eyes out, yelled into your pillow, dated a rebound, bitched to your friends, and you still pine for the days when that person looked at you with a sparkle in their eye and a smirk on their lips. When is this going to end??

You’ve done all you could to feel better, but you still can’t get this heartbreaking bastard out of your head. Maybe you need closure. If talking to the person that broke your spirit is out of the question, try writing to them. Don’t be emotional or aggressive; that’ll just make them glad that you’re crazy ass isn’t a part of their life anymore. Be smart and concise. Ask them why things happened the way they did. Hear them out and apply them to your life. This is a way to ensure that you learn from your heartbreak. Also, their response will either give you peace of mind and make you feel content with moving on, or they’ll be an asshole, and it’ll validate why it’s best for you to be over them right now. Either way, you won’t be left with unanswered questions.

The ladies of Sex and the City preach that it takes half the time you dated someone to get over them. So if you were in a relationship for say, three years, you should be fine and back out there in a year and half. It may seem like nonsense, but setting a mental goal is helpful in the sense that you have something to work towards – including getting over someone.

I recently read that, psychologically speaking, emotional pain only lasts for 12 minutes. Any longer than that is self-inflicted. While I think that’s totally bogus, it also subscribes to the school of thought that all you need to get yourself out of a rut is your own will. Feel your feelings. Be depressed or angry, but get it all out now, so that those annoying feelings don’t pop up later, when you thought you had tricked yourself to be over them. You’ve lost something important to you. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of your relationship. Then you can fish yourself out of that dark hole and move on and experience new things and new people. Lament the loss of your relationship, put your big girl / boy pants on, and put your best foot forward.

Leave a Reply