Pitchfork buys out Ouch, My Ego!

0
535

omepitchforkMonday marks the day of new management for Ouch, My Ego! and all it’s related projects. Pitchfork Media has bought out Ouch My Ego! in a private meeting between unnamed Pitchfork executives and George Dean, the founder and president of Ouch, My Ego!

“I’ve been ready for this my whole life,” Dean said. “I have finally made it. All these months of waiting and planning and schmoozing has paid off — emphasis on paid. I’ve already planned a trip to Switzerland. Gone are the days that I have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with promoting and managing writers. Huzzah!”

Although financial records have yet to be disclosed, rumors have circulated that the trade was in the million dollar mark. When asked about the trade, a Pitchfork executive had trouble hiding a smile.

“This trade was no question,” said the executive. “I’ve always been in shock with the musical acts that show up in the Rio Grande Valley and I wanted to hit that market harder.”

Dean says that Ouch My Ego! has been in a testing period for some time. This involved dealing with not only the RGV market, but national, hard-hitting cultural news from all over the country.

“Things have been quiet at OME!, and for good reason,” Dean said. “We are pleased to announce a merger of sorts that has been in the works for months.”

All Ouch, My Ego! content will now be accessible on pitchfork.com, with it’s own navigation button labeled “OME!”. Clicking this button will bring Pitchfork users face-first into a variety of Valley news, along with announcements for festivals located deep in the heart of South Texas. Most writers have also been offered jobs to write for not just Valley news, but news all over the Pitchfork scene.

Pitchfork Navigatoon

“We are always looking for new fresh markets to dominate,” said the executive. “OME! was a no brainer. We’ve had our eye on the Valley for a while now. Our analysts say it is the new alt mecca.”

 

Update: This was an april fool’s joke. Sorry to have pulled on so many heartstrings, it definitely pulled on ours. The idea of OME teaming up with the likes of Pitchfork would most absolutely be a huge deal, and a boon for the RGV. Everyones support and congratulations on this, however, has moved us and has strengthened our resolve. Thank you all for all your love.

Leave a Reply